the-vashta-nerada:

ALRIGHT SO IT’S 2:30 IN THE MORNING AND I WAS JUST ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP AND  THEN I SAT UP AND ALMOST SCREAMED BECAUSE I WAS STRUCK WITH REALIZATION AND I DISCOVERED THE ULTIMATE TRUTH OF THE UNIVERSE

TELETUBBIES ARE CALLED TELETUBBIES BECAUSE THEY HAVE TELEVISIONS IN THEIR STOMACHS

sorry:

a peaceful walk in the woods really relaxes me. the fact that I’m dragging a body should be irrelevant.

literallyrad:

there are approximately 1,013,913 words in the english language but i could never string any of them together to explain how much i want to hit you with a chair.

lostincape-town:

I’m attracted to intelligence. Not the book smart type of intelligence. I could care less whether you’ve gone to college or how much money you make because of it. I like intelligent conversations that make me think even hours after it’s ended. I soak up words from radical minds.

  • Aries: self-centred competitive cunts but still sweet
  • Taurus: nice as heck but dont show much emotions and eat a way too much
  • Gemini: smooth lunatic manipulative assholes but geniuses
  • Cancer: dependant, emotionally unstable lullabies and probably the nicest persons you know
  • Leo: most generous and selfish at the same time attention whores
  • Virgo: steady fuckers that probably have an OCD
  • Libra: double-faced childish bitches but they know how to look good tho
  • Scorpio: paranoid psychos that think about dry humping all day long
  • Sagittarius: funny but rude, one night stands big winner
  • Capricorn: cold-hearted motherfuckers without any social skills
  • Aquarius: weird hipsters that always try to sound deep and different but VERY open-minded
  • Pisces: sensible compulsive liars, daydreamers and super gentle but hypocrites
  • greydelisle:

    I thought Pitbull’s first name was “Featuring”.

    nefferpitou:

    on monday a guy walked into the psychology class i’m in and sat next to me. about 30 minutes into class, he leans over and whispers, ‘this isn’t algebra.’ and calmly stands up and walks out of the room. luv college

    It was so close to October that Halloween was knocking at his heart.
    ― Barry Eysman, Candles for November (via missvoodoodoll)